The door was never locked
Does God Still Love Me After I Left?
This is the question underneath so much of the fear about coming back: after I left, after what I did, after how long I stayed away, does God still love me? It is asked quietly, often with a braced heart, half expecting the answer to be no. So let the answer come plainly and without hedging: yes. God still loves you. His love for you was never earned by your nearness and was never forfeited by your leaving, because it was never based on your performance in the first place. He loved you before you knew Him, He loved you while you were far away, and He loves you now, as you wonder whether He does.
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”Romans 5:8
“Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the LORD our God.”Jeremiah 3:22
“And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”Luke 15:20
“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.”Isaiah 49:15
Let us name what is keeping you away
The fear that God stopped loving you usually assumes His love works like human love, that it can be exhausted, offended past repair, or withdrawn when you disappoint enough. But God's love is not like that, and Scripture goes out of its way to say so. He does not love you because you are lovable on your best days; He loves you because love is who He is, and He set it on you as a gift, not a wage. That is why leaving could not cancel it. You cannot make God love you more by returning, and you could not have made Him love you less by leaving. His love has been steady the whole time.
How to actually come back
Hear how God speaks to those who wandered: Return, ye backsliding children; for I am married unto you. And when Israel feared it had been forgotten, God answered, Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. He binds His love to a promise stronger than a mother's. And the proof is not merely words: God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He loved you at your furthest, most rebellious distance, enough to die for you. That love did not blink when you left.
The Father who runs to meet you
The father in Jesus' story did not love his son less while the boy was away wasting everything; he watched the road the whole time, and when the son appeared, the father ran, because the love had never stopped, only waited. That is God toward you. Jesus is the running proof of a love that leaving could not end, the One who went to the cross to bring the far-off home. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. So yes, He still loves you, and the surest way to feel it again is to turn back into the arms that have been open the whole time. Come home to the love that never left.
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Questions people ask
Did God stop loving me when I walked away?
No. God's love is not withdrawn when you leave, because it was never based on your staying close or performing well. Scripture says He loved you while you were still a sinner, still far off, enough to give Christ for you. He compares His love to a mother's and says it is even more unforgettable than that. Your leaving did not cancel His love; it only kept you from feeling it. It has been steady the whole time.
How can God love me after the things I did?
Because His love was never a reward for good behavior; it is who He is, set on you as a gift. The people God loved and saved in Scripture were not the impressive ones but real sinners, and He proved His love at the cross while we were still in our worst. What you did does not exceed a love that went to the cross for you. Turn back, and receive the love that never depended on your worthiness.
I do not feel God's love. Does that mean it is not there?
No. God's love is a fact about His character, not a fluctuation of your feelings. Many people who have wandered feel numb or unworthy and only sense His love again after they turn back and rest in His promises. Do not wait to feel loved before coming home; come, trust what Scripture declares to be true, and let the feeling follow as the relationship is restored. The love is real whether or not you feel it yet.