What did Jesus say about the cost of following him?

In Luke 14:27-28 Jesus told people to count the cost before following him, like someone planning a building. He was honest that discipleship can ask something of us, and he wanted followers who had considered it clearly, not been rushed.

Did Jesus really tell people to hate their families?

No. Luke 14:26 uses a Hebrew way of speaking by comparison. Jesus, who commanded honouring parents and loving enemies, means that love for him must come first, even above our dearest loves. It is about priority, not contempt.

Does following Jesus mean I should put myself in danger?

No. Jesus asked for a wholehearted heart, not reckless self-endangerment. He withdrew from danger himself and told followers to be wise. Devotion and prudent caution belong together; faith is never recklessness.

An honest look, no pressure

The Cost of Following Jesus

Jesus was unusually honest with people who wanted to follow him: he told them to count the cost first. He never sold discipleship as cost-free, and he never romanticized the sacrifice either. He simply asked people to look clearly at what it might mean, and then decide, because what he offers in return is worth more than what it may cost.

Jesus told people to count the cost

“And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?”

Luke 14:27-28

This is remarkable. Rather than hurrying people into a decision, Jesus slowed them down and asked them to think. He wanted followers who had looked honestly at the cost, not people swept up in a moment.

What about 'hating' father and mother?

“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”

Luke 14:26

This hard-sounding verse is a Hebrew way of speaking by comparison. Jesus is not commanding hatred; elsewhere he commands honouring parents and even loving enemies. He means that love for him must come first, even above our dearest loves. It is about priority, not contempt.

Honest, not romanticized

Following Jesus can cost comfort, approval, certain relationships, sometimes more. Scripture never pretends otherwise, and it never dresses that cost up as glamorous. But Jesus set the cost beside something greater: himself, his life, and a hope that outlasts everything.

“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

Mark 8:36

A gentle, wise word

Counting the cost also means being wise about safety. Jesus asked for a heart wholly his; he did not ask anyone to be reckless with their life or to invite needless harm. If your situation is dangerous, devotion to Christ and prudent caution belong together, not at odds. Take your time, and take it to him in prayer.

One step further: How do I pray when I am afraid? →

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A prayer, and a friend to turn to

Lord Jesus, thank you for being honest with me about the cost, and for being worth more than anything it may ask. Give me a heart that puts you first, wisdom to be safe, and courage for whatever is truly mine to carry. I trust that what you give is greater than what I lose. Amen.

You do not have to carry this alone, and you do not have to prove anything to anyone. Jesus knew rejection from the inside, and he draws near to the frightened and the weary. If your heart is heavy, you can quietly bring it to him, and you can ask for prayer here, privately, in your own words.

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Jesus Christ is Lord.

Frequently asked questions

What did Jesus say about the cost of following him?: In Luke 14:27-28 Jesus told people to count the cost before following him, like someone planning a building. He was honest that discipleship can ask something of us, and he wanted followers who had considered it clearly, not been rushed.
Did Jesus really tell people to hate their families?: No. Luke 14:26 uses a Hebrew way of speaking by comparison. Jesus, who commanded honouring parents and loving enemies, means that love for him must come first, even above our dearest loves. It is about priority, not contempt.
Does following Jesus mean I should put myself in danger?: No. Jesus asked for a wholehearted heart, not reckless self-endangerment. He withdrew from danger himself and told followers to be wise. Devotion and prudent caution belong together; faith is never recklessness.

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