Grief and loss
Losing a Child
There is no loss like this one, and no words that are equal to it. We will not hand you a tidy reason or hurry you toward peace. We only want to sit with you, and to tell you gently that the God of the Bible weeps too, and that this ache is held by him.
If you have lost a child, at any age, before birth or after a long life, we are more sorry than we can say. This is a grief that rearranges everything. Please do not let anyone rush you, or measure you, or tell you how you should be feeling by now.
You do not have to be okay. You do not have to make sense of it. Some things are not made sense of; they are survived, one breath at a time, and carried, and slowly borne. You are allowed to fall apart.
The God who does not stay far off
We are careful here, because this pain deserves honesty, not slogans. What we can tell you is that the Bible does not show a God who is distant from grief like yours.
Many grieving parents have found comfort in the tenderness Jesus showed to children, and in the Christian hope of a day when God wipes away every tear and death is no more. We hold that hope with you gently, and we entrust your child to the mercy of God, who loves them more than even you do, rather than pretending to a certainty about the unseen that no person can honestly claim.
A short prayer
Jesus, you welcomed the children and you wept at a grave. I cannot pray much more than this: hold my child, and hold me. Do not let me go. Amen.
You do not have to carry this alone
Before Jesus did anything at the grave of his friend, he wept with the ones who loved him. He is not far off from grief, and he is not in a hurry to move you past it. If you want, you can read the story for yourself, or simply let someone pray with you tonight. You do not need the right words. You only need to come.
Read John 11Ask someone to prayYou are not aloneJesus Christ is Lord.
Questions people ask
- How do people survive losing a child?
- Not by getting over it, but by being carried, by God and by other people, through grief that never fully leaves. Grief shared is more bearable than grief alone. Please do not isolate; let others help hold you.
- Where is God when a child dies?
- The Christian answer is not a neat explanation but a Person: a God who entered our suffering and wept at a grave. Scripture says he is near to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18), not far from them.
- Is my child with God?
- Many Christians take deep comfort from Jesus' tenderness toward children and trust their little ones to God's mercy. We hold that hope while being honest that we speak of God's character and promise, and entrust your child to him, rather than claiming knowledge only God has.