The one another commands

Submit to One Another

A command of Christ for his church · Ephesians 5:21

Submit to one another is the call to yield to each other in the fear of God, laying down our insistence on our own way. Paul says, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. In a world obsessed with self-assertion, believers are marked by a mutual deference, a willingness to serve, defer, and consider others above ourselves.

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.Ephesians 5:21 (KJV)

What this command means

To submit is to place yourself under, to yield your rights and preferences for the good of another. Paul makes it mutual: one to another. This does not erase the ordered relationships he goes on to describe, but it sets the whole of Christian life under a spirit of humble deference rather than self-will and demand.

The key phrase is in the fear of God. We yield to each other not because others deserve to rule us, but out of reverence for Christ. Submission here is not weakness or the loss of self; it is the strength to lower yourself, freely, for love's sake, because you answer to the Lord.

Why it matters for the church

Mutual submission is the antidote to the endless conflict of wills that wrecks community. When each person insists on their own way, there is strife; when each is willing to yield, there is peace. A church full of people ready to defer to each other can live and work together in a harmony the world cannot achieve.

It also displays the mind of Christ before a watching world. In every human system someone grasps for control. A community where people gladly yield to each other, esteeming others above themselves, is a striking sign of a different kingdom, one ruled not by self-assertion but by self-giving love.

Mutual submission also keeps authority from becoming tyranny and freedom from becoming selfishness. Where all are willing to yield in the fear of God, even those who lead do so as servants, and even those who follow do so with dignity. The whole community is bent toward the good of others rather than the assertion of self, and that shared lowliness becomes a strength no proud gathering can match.

How we fail at it

We fail by insisting on our own way. We defend our rights, guard our preferences, and treat yielding as losing. We submit only when it costs us nothing, and dig in when it costs us something. Pride whispers that to defer is to be diminished, and we believe it.

We also fail by a false submission that is really manipulation or fear rather than the free, glad deference done in the fear of God. And we forget the mutual part, demanding submission from others while offering none ourselves. True mutual submission is humble on all sides, done unto the Lord.

How Christ enables it

Christ is the great example of submission. Though he was equal with God, he emptied himself, took the form of a servant, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. He submitted himself to the Father's will and gave himself for us, laying down every right for our sake.

In the fear of God we submit to one another because Christ first submitted himself for us. His self-lowering love, all the way to the cross, is both the reason and the power for our deference. As his Spirit forms his mind in us, the grasping falls away, and we become able to yield in love.

Christ is the great example of submission, for though he was equal with God he emptied himself, took the form of a servant, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. He submitted himself to his Father's will and gave himself for us, laying down every right for our sake. In the fear of God we yield to one another because Christ first yielded himself for us. His self-lowering love, all the way to the cross, is both the reason and the power for our deference, and as his Spirit forms his mind in us, the grasping for our own way falls quietly away.

How to live it

Hold your preferences loosely and be quick to defer. In disagreements over things that are not essentials, ask whether you can yield rather than insist. Consider others' interests, not only your own, and count them better than yourself.

Submit as unto the Lord, not merely to people, so that your deference is free and glad rather than grudging. Where God has set order and authority, honor it; and everywhere, cultivate a heart ready to lower itself for love. Let reverence for Christ, not the demand for your own way, govern how you live with others.

Hold your preferences loosely and be quick to yield, especially in matters that are not essential. In disagreements, ask honestly whether you can defer rather than insist, and count others' interests alongside your own. Submit as unto the Lord, so that your deference is free and glad rather than grudging or fearful, done out of reverence for Christ and not merely to keep the peace. Where God has set order and authority, honor it; and everywhere, cultivate a heart ready to lower itself for love's sake. When conflict comes, be willing to take the lower place first. A community where each person is bent toward the good of the others, rather than the assertion of self, becomes a place of rare and lasting peace.

Related commands: Be humble toward one another · Honor one another · Serve one another · All the one another commands