The one another commands

Honor One Another

A command of Christ for his church · Romans 12:10

Honor one another is the call to outdo each other in showing respect, in honour preferring one another. Instead of competing for recognition, believers compete to give it away, treating each other as more important than themselves. It turns the world's scramble for status upside down and fills the church with the dignity Christ gives.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;Romans 12:10 (KJV)

What this command means

Paul says, in honour preferring one another, which means to go first in showing honor, to lead the way in respect. It is a holy contest to see who can most esteem the other. Elsewhere he says, in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. We are to look for reasons to lift others, not ourselves.

To honor someone is to treat them as valuable, to speak to and about them with respect, to defer to them, to make room for them. It recognizes the worth God has placed on every person, especially every brother and sister for whom Christ died, and it acts accordingly.

Why it matters for the church

A church that honors one another is free from the poison of rivalry. When people are secure in the honor they receive from Christ, they do not need to grasp for it from each other, and they can gladly give it away. This creates a community of dignity, where the least feel valued and the great are not exalted.

Honor also protects the weak and the overlooked. Paul says the parts of the body that seem less honorable are given more honor. A church that honors one another lifts up those the world would ignore, and in doing so it displays the upside-down values of the kingdom for all to see.

Honor also reorders how we treat the parts of the body that seem least impressive. Paul says the members which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour, so that God has tempered the body together. A church that races to honor its overlooked members reflects the God who lifts the lowly, and it keeps anyone from being treated as though they did not matter.

How we fail at it

We fail by seeking honor for ourselves. We want to be noticed, credited, and preferred, and we quietly resent it when others are honored instead. We compare and compete, measuring our worth against our brother's, when Paul calls us to prefer him above ourselves.

We also dishonor each other with contempt, with dismissive words, interruptions, and slights. We honor the impressive and overlook the ordinary. When status rather than love decides who we respect, we have brought the world's pecking order into the family of God.

How Christ enables it

Christ honored us when we deserved shame. He who was rich became poor for our sakes; the King washed servants' feet; the Lord of glory bore our disgrace so that we might share his honor. God has crowned redeemed sinners with glory and honor we could never earn.

Because Christ has honored us so lavishly, we no longer need to fight for honor from each other; we already have all we could want from him. Secure in his esteem, we are free to spend our lives honoring others. His self-emptying love becomes the pattern for how we treat every brother and sister.

The honor we give flows from the honor Christ received and now shares. God has highly exalted him and given him a name above every name, and astonishingly he promises that his own will share his glory, that where he is, there they may be also. Knowing we are bound for such honor in him frees us from grasping for scraps of it now, and lets us spend ourselves honoring others.

How to live it

Go first in showing respect. Greet people warmly, listen without interrupting, and speak of others with esteem. Give credit generously and take it reluctantly. Honor the ones the room tends to overlook.

Refuse the games of comparison and rivalry. When someone else is praised, rejoice rather than compete. Look for the God-given worth in each person and name it. Make it your aim to leave others feeling more valued, not less, and let the honor you have from Christ overflow to them.

Go first in showing respect rather than waiting to receive it. Greet people warmly, listen without interrupting, and speak of others, present or absent, with genuine esteem. Give credit away generously and take it reluctantly. Deliberately honor the ones the room tends to overlook: the quiet, the new, the unimpressive, the lowly. Refuse the games of comparison, and when someone else is praised, rejoice instead of competing. Look for the God-given worth in each person and name it aloud. Make it your steady aim to leave others feeling more valued, not less. Because you already possess more honor in Christ than the world could ever grant, you can spend yourself lifting others without fear of being diminished, for what you give away only multiplies.

Related commands: Be devoted to one another · Be humble toward one another · Submit to one another · All the one another commands